I want to get drunk and lose my virginity. I want to be gay. I want to be a drug addict. I want to die of a prescribed medication overdose. I want to be beautiful again. I want to forgive myself. I want you to know what I feel. I want you to feel what I feel. I want to be locked away in rehab or a nuthouse or a basement. I want to fall into an everlasting coma. I want to be anorexic. I want to be saved. I want to be normal. I want to be me. I want to fight and win. I want my Faith back. I want to feel. I want to love. I want to be brave enough to choose between life or death. I want balance. I want another chance. I want to start over. I want it to be over. I want to be diagnosed with a mortal disease. I want to drown. I want to stop crying. I want peace. I want war. I want to be mute. I want to be blind. I want to be deaf. I want to stop making lists.