my hands are cold.

«And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight»

- Iris, Goo Goo Dolls

I’m tired. And a little drunk. Perhaps the reason for admitting to liking such a cliché of a song. My throat is burning. With more than broken promises. A week until my return.
Christmas is maybe my hardest time of year. This year will either be the same for entirely different reasons or entirely different for the same reasons. Then comes New Year. Rebirth. The pledge of change. So much has changed already.
I can barely keep my eyes open but my chest is bursting. It’s 3 a.m, I must be lonely. I’m sure that’s the lyrics to a song. Yes. Matchbox20. Aren’t I in a teenage mood. Breathing suddenly comes easy. A quiet relief. I think I may be asleep already.
I haven’t the energy to wipe off my make-up. I haven’t the strength to push forward. I do. I just don’t want to. Not yet. I’d rather listen to acoustic versions of every love song ever written and compose my own reminiscence. The city night-lights are like spots on your eyes when you stare into the sun. You pull your eyelids down but for a few seconds those colourful bruises remind you of it’s brightness. A few more minutes of madness and then I’ll close the chapter on this long long day. Wait for me. I’m on my way.