We just can't do anything about it

I'm dreaming of a white christmas. «It will all be alright.» Come and walk with me. It's the first snow. Swordfight of thoughts. Time versus space. Mental illness enriches our lives. I should be listening to class. (But) I'm testing myself. Curious to find what the pencil chooses to write - or not write. I know what i think. Noone else needs to understand. It's a stupid mistake to want to be understood. To understand. Unilateral decisions. Lose your voice but not your smile. More. Always more. So you get off your butt and you sit through mass and make peace with your own distance. Why don't prisoners like solitary confinement? I do. Planning my great escape. I'll come back. I'll always come back. «I don't expect anything..». I should be paying attention to class. I think i'll take a nap today. Sudden burst of melancholy. Lie to feign truth? You are under the influence. Time. We have it. Time changes. Transforms. Kills. Gives life. Seconds, minutes, hours, days.. illusions of obsessive minds. The forbidden word. Excuses for the lack of control over mutation. Could you be more evasive? No. I suppose not. Wonderful, aren't I? Excuse me.. Who may i say is calling? Personality nº537. Certainly, the doctor is ready to see you now. We're never ready. And we're always wrong. And it's never our decision alone. Meditate. Meditate and levitate. Far far away. Africa. Camels and cloths. Sun and heat. Liquid-pain-evaporates-to-humid-clouds-of-relief. Home is so often the cruelest traitor. Stop searching for yourself in words addressed to others. SMACK. CRACKLE. POP. I love cereal. Crispy. Crunchy. I love escalators more. It's something magical. The feeling they provoke i mean. A near mystical experience through electronic wiring. Who knew? I hope they never replace escalators. They are the reason you can't think outside the box. No you can't. No. You can't. I'm a risk. Revolution Council. Train to the underworld. Enough now. Time to listen to class. Time. And time again. Time and time again. Oh yes, I'm unbelievably appropriate. (censured) And unquestionably naive. Self-awareness. Stack a pile of papers on the desk and throw your arms around in fury. Do what feels good. Not over after all. Too soon to tell. «You put your left foot in, you put your left foot out.. in-out-in-out and shake it all about». New. Drown in champagne. Stage an intervention to the death of your - SCREAM. Beat the walls, punch the table, kick the chairs. Rage. Get-it-out. Draw a circle in chalk on the floor. Curl up inside. You're safe now. You're safe. Noone can touch you now. Noone can steal you. No questions. No answers. No noise. No sound. Cry yourself to sleep. You don't know where it's heading. Don't forget to feed James Dean. He hides a book inside his textbook. Eleven o'clock. I promise to listen from now on. The next class i mean. I'm scared to work. (Among other things). At least if i don't i can blame my laziness and not my disturbed mind. Fobiamaniac. Sharpen your scissors. Drink the water. No bones. No skin. No nails. No hair. Cut-out eyes. Removeable tongue. Once removed do not replace. Tongue. Tongue. Tongue. Tongue. Tongue. Three times fast. Four times slow. Funny word. Broken fingers. Broken spine. Run. Don't run. Do what you like. Fuck off. Don't go. Stutter. No room for literacy or eloquentness here. Literacy rhymes with intimacy. Sort of. No room here. Cigarette burns. Purple traffic lights. Nonsense makes its comeback. Pause. Play. I'll find a way to care. I'll learn. I learn good. I learn well. No such thing as acceptance. Glue-sniffer. Try harder. Blargh. Don't. Punishment for craving. Whip your back for every missing satisfaction, every desire, every wish. Self-inflicted? Reconciliation. Sense of community. Please Sir, would you slash my throat for me? Certainly. Let me just put on an apron. Coca-cola with a twist. Stop trying to figure it out. Its of no use to assess my emotions. Those i keep to myself. «Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream.. merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is like a dream.»